Peaceful mind.  Grateful heart.

Peaceful mind… Grateful heart!

The last few days have been real hard and also beautiful.

My body is broken, but I am beautifully broken as I carry our baby boy.

Broken by the design of my creator, who soon again help me pick up the pieces and build my beautiful self again.

Like the artform of that of creating mosaics, broken can be beautiful.

I am once again humbled by the experience of pregnancy and every single change onces body goes through for roughly 38 weeks.

The up and downs.

The highs.

The lows.

The joys.

The tears.

The miracle of growing life.

This last trimester has shown me some real flames over December and January.
I was admitted to hospital a couple of times. For what?! For not being able to keep any food down…

Oh my! What a thing!

The panic and frustration tapped onto ones (already) unnecessary anxiety patterns, and I am so happy that this was over each time the Dr discharged me.
If u asked me now if I wanted it to all be over, I will tell you hell yes! But 2 seconds later I will also tell you, I want to wait so our precious cargo can grow some more.

My last gynae visit confirmed that I will have another c-section.
This all considering my birth history with Adam.

While I try to get my head and heart around c-section number two, I am trying to calm my heart at the same time. The anxiety kicks in again and reminds me that recovery will be longer and the due date will be something else.
Excited and nervous at the same time, I try to fight back tears and asked my Doctor if we could try and push closer to the due date so our boy can grow some more, he said no problem and reminds us that babies have their own time.
He did also share with us, that our boy is growing nicely and that his weight is a peak above average.
At our 30 week visit, little man weighed 2,2kg, after that we were not able to get a correct measurement, because bub is one busy boy and would not allow Doctor to measure precisely.

Aware of this, I try to stay positive and talk to my beautifully broken body everyday.

I affirm daily:

“I welcome every single change in my body.”

“My growing pregnant body is beautiful.”

“My body was designed to grow my baby.”

“My baby is developing beautifully and will be born healthy and at the right time.”

“I am strong and courageous enough to face this pregnancy.”

“I was divinely chosen to be the mother of my baby boy.”

“I am good enough to care for my baby.”

These affirmations have been so special and really helpful too.
I am covered by peace and gratitude as I pray on these affirmations.


Image : Odette Johaar Photography


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